In memory of rapping spacemen

It has begun! The annual festival of kitsch. THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST!

My ramblings while watching the live show tonight. It was the first semi-final and so this is just a quick one. Will write a more thoughtfully (well, technically this is 100% thoughts running through my head, but you get me!)  constructed post about the final on Saturday. It's a damn shame that Montenergo isn't there. Or Serbia.

We're in space. Rapping to dubstep.

Austria. She's The Voice winner. There are a few of those this year (Finland on Thursday!). Quite a tame start. I'm slightly disappointed, this is too normal!

Estonia threw a pregnant lady on stage. The song was nice, if not unlike a million slow songs in this world. She had fog and wind though, like any self-respecting Eurovision entrant should. Finalist.

Oh dear, Eurovision dubstep by Slovenia. With a trio of dancing iron masks. And she's dressed head to toe in club wear leather. Here we go, this is Eurovision! I wonder if dubstep will be this year's fad genre to try at ESC.

Croatia has a male choir wearing something Napolean. I do not mean the city in Italy, but the short man with the white horse. The song was called "Misery" apparently, but sounds very tame and peaceful.

Seizure coming up! Denmark warns us about strobe lights and flashing. The girls is channeling Shakira on her knees, interestingly. The flashing wasn't very noticeable, if you ask me. Finalist.

Russia. The Voice winner again, they apparently call her the new Adele. What's up with this abundance of female singers with ballady songs and big melodies and ball gowns? A ballad won't win unless it's Irish. Finalist.

Ukraine. A giant carries this pocket rocket of a girl on stage and here we go, another woman in a long dress but this one's got more of a beat to it. This strangely reminds me of Lion King. There was a disturbing lack of Giant Igor (I learned his name is) after the very first few seconds. Finalist.

The Netherlands brought back Anouk! She seems to have grown out of her Nobody's Wife days. This could be on a movie soundtrack, featuring Thom Yorke. It's interestingly different for this event. Finalist.

Montenegro has recruited... wait for it... SPACEMEN! Rapping astronauts! Oh yes. And a little space fairy with a powerhouse voice. I like the greenness on stage. Hmm, quite like fairy washing liquid. Another Eurovision dubstep entry but far better than the other one, whoever that was.

Lithuania. Is this going to be Eurovision rock? He looks like a British musician, and it's kind of trying to be Eurovision rock but his voice isn't powerful enough. This is ... average. Although, he did sing "because of the shoes I'm wearing today, one is love the other is pain." That earns him some Eurovision points. Finalist.

Belarus. Now this is more like it, the whole show seems to have picked up now and we're firmly on Eurovision territory. Underwear model looking girl in a tiny shiny dress and Jessica Simpsonesque dance skills. Finalist.

Moldova's girl's hair looks like lasagne and she has the white backup dancers that are a compulsory accessory for at least four performances each year. Up she goes! I've seen this trick on Super Sweet Sixteen. Finalist.

Ireland has a younger Adam Lambert! I like the shirtless drummers, who are probably actually not drummers but male models, but that's not important. Finalist

Belgium's dancers were weirdly protective of their ovaries in between of imitating chicken walk. The song sounds like something you'd hear on the radio but never remember who sings it. Finalist.

Serbia. Now these girls are rocking the Eurovision uniform! They've sort of dressed up like creepy living candy floss. I'd imagine Japanese Bratz dolls to look similar. What exactly is going on? It looks like there's some sort of story to this song, there's a bit of drama and sudden dance moves. It's like a pantomime where you can't understand a word!

Oh yes I'm wearing marshmallow, what of it?